Islam and Marriage

Verse 4:6 set the age of marriage in Quran. Person has to be consenting adult with sound and mature mind.

And test the orphans [in their abilities] until they reach marriageable age. Then if you perceive in them sound judgement, release their property to them. And do not consume it excessively and quickly, [anticipating] that they will grow up. And whoever, [when acting as guardian], is self-sufficient should refrain [from taking a fee]; and whoever is poor - let him take according to what is acceptable. Then when you release their property to them, bring witnesses upon them. And sufficient is Allah as Accountant. [Quran 4:6]

Some people often misinterpret the following verse and assume islam allows marriage of minors.

And those who no longer expect menstruation among your women - if you doubt, then their period is three months, and [also for] those who have not menstruated. And for those who are pregnant, their term is until they give birth. And whoever fears Allah - He will make for him of his matter ease [Quran 65:4]

 to understand second part of above Verse we need to examine some medical sources.
The followeing medical references are from "www.healthline.com" and NHS National Health Service, UK

What Is Absent Menstruation?

Absent menstruation, or amenorrhea, is when a young woman has reached the age of 16 and has not yet had her first period. It is also when a woman who previously had regular periods misses three or more cycles in a row.

There are many possible reasons for absent periods. These include natural causes, such as pregnancy, and lifestyle factors, like body weight and exercise levels. In some cases, hormonal imbalances or physical defects of the reproductive organs may be the cause.

It is important to see your doctor because the underlying cause of missed periods may require treatment.

Types of Absent Menstruation

There are two types of absent menstruation. The type depends on whether menstruation has never occurred or has occurred but is then absent.

Primary

Primary amenorrhea occurs when a young woman has reached or passed the age of 16 and still has not had her first period. Most girls begin having periods sometime between the ages of 9 and 18, but 12 is the average age. According to the National Institutes of Health (NIH), less than one percent of girls experience this type of absent menstruation (NIH, 2010).

Secondary

A woman with secondary amenorrhea has begun menstruation, often at a normal age, but has missed her period for at least three cycles (six months). About four percent of women experience secondary amenorrhea that is not caused by pregnancy (NIH, 2010).

http://www.healthline.com/health/menstruation-absent#Types

Having absent periods either means you have stopped having periods or haven’t started them by the time you are 14-16 years old. The medical name for absent periods is amenorrhoea. In many cases, absent periods are not a cause for concern because some girls simply start having periods later than usual and it is normal for your periods to stop at certain points. National Health Service, UK

Quran clearly states that everyday affairs between husband and wife should be conducted by mutual consultation.

who respond to their Lord and attend to their prayers; who conduct their affairs by mutual consultation and spend out of what We have provided for them; [Quran 42:38]

their conduct in life is open and determined by mutual Consultation between those who are entided to a voice, e.g., in private domestic affairs, as between husband and wife, or other responsible members of the household: in affairs of business, as between partners or parties interested: and in State affairs, as between rulers and ruled, or as between different departments of administration, to reserve the unity of administration: (8) they do not forget Charity, or the help due to their weaker brethren, out of the wealth or gifts or talents or opportunities, which Allah had provided for themselves: and (9) when other people use them despitefully, they are not cowed down or terrorised into submission and acceptance of evil, but stand up for their rights within the limits mentioned

God has told us in Quran relationship between husband and wife should be based on love and respect.

And of His signs is that He created for you from yourselves mates that you may find tranquillity in them; and He placed between you affection and mercy. Indeed in that are signs for a people who give thought. [Quran 30:21]

Marrying upto 4 women permission comes with very strict & impossible to meet condition and two verses needs to be read together , Verse 4:3 & Verse 4:129.

Quran 4:3 "And if you fear that you will not deal justly with the orphan girls, then marry those that please you of [other] women, two or three or four. But if you fear that you will not be just, then [marry only] one or those your right hand possesses. That is more suitable that you may not incline [to injustice].."

Quran 4:129 "Ye are never able to be fair and just as between women, even if it is your ardent desire: But turn not away (from a woman) altogether, so as to leave her (as it were) hanging (in the air). If ye come to a friendly understanding, and practise self- restraint, Allah is Oft-forgiving, Most Merciful."

scholar comment :::: 639 In this material world there are two principal causes of division between man and wife, money and "the other woman" or "the other man". Money was dealt with in the last verse. Here is the case of "the other woman". Legally more than one wife (up to four) are permissible on the condition that the man can be perfectly fair and just to all. But this is a condition almost impossible to fulfil. If, in the hope that he might be able to fulfil it, a man puts himself in that impossible position, it is only right to insist that he should not discard one but at least fulfil all the outward duties that are incumbent on him in respect of her.

Equality

(3:195) And their Lord responded to them, "Never will I allow to be lost the work of [any] worker among you, whether male or female; you are of one another. So those who emigrated or were evicted from their homes or were harmed in My cause or fought or were killed - I will surely remove from them their misdeeds, and I will surely admit them to gardens beneath which rivers flow as reward from Allah, and Allah has with Him the best reward."

500 In Islam the equal status of the sexes is not only recognised but insisted on. If sex distinction, which is a distinction in nature, does not count in spiritual matters, still less of course would count artificial distinctions, such as rank, wealth, position, race, colour, birth, etc. 501 Here, and in 3:198, 4:175, and in many places elsewhere, stress is laid on the fact that whatever gift, or reward, or bliss will come to the righteous, its chief merit will be that it proceeds from the Presence of Allah Himself. "Nearness to Allah" expresses it better than any other symbol.

Both the men and women actions are equal in God’s system. God does not make gender distinctions.

(33:35) For Muslim men and women,- for believing men and women- for devout men and women, for true men and women, for men and women who are patient and constant, for men and women who humble themselves, for men and women who give in Charity, for men and women who fast (and deny themselves), for men and women who guard their chastity, and for men and women who engage much in Allah's praise,- for them has Allah prepared forgiveness and great reward.

Protection of Women

The following verses makes it clear that we cannot even act badly to each other, leaving no justification for violence at all, violence not only physical, but also verbal assaults. Moreover communication and good deeds are key to happy relationships.
  • Act kindly with each other
  • Use kind words during communication
  • Restrain anger
  • Forgive people
  • Seek help through patience

(41:34) And not equal are the good deed and the bad. Repel [evil] by that [deed] which is better; and thereupon the one whom between you and him is enmity [will become] as though he was a devoted friend.

(17:53) And say to My servants, that they say words that are kindlier. For surely Satan provokes strife between them, and Satan is ever a manifest foe to man

(3:134) Who spend [in the cause of Allah] during ease and hardship and who restrain anger and who pardon the people - and Allah loves the doers of good;

(2:45) And seek help through patience and prayer, and indeed, it is difficult except for the humbly submissive [to Allah]

Privacy

(49:12) O you who have believed, avoid much [negative] assumption. Indeed, some assumption is sin. And do not spy or backbite each other. Would one of you like to eat the flesh of his brother when dead? You would detest it. And fear Allah; indeed, Allah is Accepting of repentance and Merciful.

Tafseer Commentary
4931 Most kinds of suspicion are baseless and to be avoided, and some are crimes in themselves: for they do cruel injustice to innocent men and women. Spying, or enquiring too curiously into other people's affairs, means either idle curiosity, and is therefore futile, or suspicion carried a stage further, which almost amounts to sin. Back-biting also is a brood of the same genus. It may be either futile but all the same mischievous, or it may be poisoned with malice, in which case it is a sin added to sin.
4932 No one would like even to think of such an abomination as eating the flesh of his brother. But when the brother is dead, and the flesh is carrion, abomination is added to abomination. In the same way we are asked to refrain from hurting people's feelings when they are present; how much worse is it when we say things, true or false, when they are absent!

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